My 6 ways to be kind and considerate towards yourself.

Swati - be kind and considerate towards yourself. That's what been echoing in my mind since a while. No, that's not at all mean. The world will constantly rattle us by harping on the fact that we need to be kind and considerate towards others. Agreed. BUT as we say Charity begins at home, so does kindness and compassion. 

Now it doesn't mean that I will start covering up my mistakes with a justification or become lethargic in my responsibilities and ambitions. NO. What my interpretation of being kind towards oneself is that we start being more accepting of our flaws, our pitfalls and most importantly STOP blaming our self for anything and everything. Only then we can be content with our own life and its pace.

When I sat down on how I can do this, my mind came up with the following. So if you are one like me who is searching for ways to be kinder towards yourself, these may help.

1. Shun the eyes of the society!
Now this is tough. Super tough. As much as we may deny it and much to our chagrin , today’s society is insidiously becoming self-centric and hypocrite - majorly. The depravity that has reaped in due to mad rush for money , fame and power is appalling. No matter what you do and you don't do, what you say or do not say, there will be a section of the society who will never be happy with you. They will pass judgments, do back biting and never let you rest in peace.

And if you are a people person like me, it hurts when people misjudge or deceive you. But as gory as it , people can’t see others happy under their own clouds of jealousy , insecurities and dissatisfaction. So STOP seeing and judging yourself from the eyes of others. They do not know your complete story. neither have they been through your life's ordeals. You are the best judge of your life. But how to not judge ourselves from society's point of view? Like I said it is super tough but very much feasible. Read on. 

2. Be your own sunshine.

All our relationships, celebrations, achievements give us happiness, albeit temporarily. And I have noticed that every material happiness comes with a tail of pain and sorrow. Anything we love has the power to hurt us as well. There is no better companion, no better lover than our own SELF. We need to revel in our own company for real happiness and contentment. People and situations are not in our hands but how we deal with them certainly is. Make your SELF powerful. Find time to do things that makes you happy like writing, cooking etc. Pamper yourself sporadically and be available for your own self. Forgive yourself and others for your own peace of mind - VERY IMPORTANT. Meditation is imperative to keep the mind calm. 

3. Embrace your success and failures in equal measure.
My mom always reminds me that life is and will always be a mix of both. Neither the good time nor the bad time lasts forever. Don't take all the credit for all your good times and neither blame yourself entirely for your bad time. Living in extreme is dangerous, balance is the key. We will fail. And in the process we will learn. Comparisons with others sometimes make us feel low. Everyone has their own journey and karmas. But how to overcome such comparisons? Accept that everyone is reaping the benefits of their karmas , not just of this lifetime but past ones as well. There will always be people better than you and many from whom you are better. This game of comparison and rat race is what gives us stress. Let's try and be happy with our pace. But how?

4. Be Grateful 
Yes, by being grateful. For anything and everything. For every joy and even for adversities because they challenged us and made us strong. I have a strong belief that it is the tough time which makes us closer to the divine. God ( or the universal energy) is doing so much for us , each moment. I have noticed that during times when I am grumbling, if I shift my focus to gratefulness, there is a change in energy and thoughts. It's the feeling of "lack" that makes us restless.

5. Get away from these two!
You are neither the culprit nor the victim. These are the 2 typical mind traps. Mostly either I am thinking what mistakes i made ( culprit mode) or what wrong others did to me ( victim mode). And both make me feel utterly weak. And negative emotions like regret, anger, frustration, revenge starts pelting up. And then the garbage keeps piling up. What has happened has happened. Learn your lessons and pledge to not repeat. These 2 modes are highly detrimental for our mind , body and soul.

6. Take shelter in the divine
If this happens, I think all the above gets taken care of automatically. And this is something that I strongly believe is the most difficult to get. It takes a lot of good karmas, intense longing and sheer grace to have a saint in life who can light our life with the lamp of knowledge and bhakti. There is no better qualification or status in the world than being a sincere devotee. In this Kalyug, it is only the spiritual knowledge that can keep us on the path of righteousness and help us realise our true nature. 

Again a note again to myself - Be kind and considerate towards yourself Swati. You are all that you have. And what you have is what you can give. 

Love you Swati! :)

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Swati