Wo Pal ! :)

3^rd December 2012 –a day which gave me my life’s most beautiful moments to cherish, for which I waited for 4 years! I had always wanted to meet Guruji personally, having those special moments. Though I’d seen him and met him in crowd innumerable times but that’s like being part of the herd ;). I wanted those moments when I feel special and loved..something done for me..I had this dream but never imagined it would happen like this J So many times I had seen Guruji pulling someone’s cheeks, taking to someone, hugging someone..and I used to feel..kya guru factor hai inka yaar! Kya grace hai! When will I get to be so lucky? Earlier, at times lot of comparisons used to dawn it, super jealousy used to creep in, even frustration and sadness used to set in. I mean all the distortions of love. I have got chance to meet him with only 10-12 persons around but never like on 3^rd December and on top of it, earlier I’d NEVER been able to utter a word in his presence. I go numb! Words just never came out.

I know I have shared this story with many and eaten their heads and they have been kind enough to give few minutes of patient listening on this ;) I don’t believe in publicizing things or public display of affection (PDA) like going gaga over an event or muaah types statuses but when it comes to my master, all rules break J I don’t think anyone except my blog will listen to me patiently and attentively and with such zeal! ;) Some moments are to be penned down for sure. I know words can’t catch the emotions but I want to have it as a memory to revisit again and again J

So 3^rd December 2012 was the day when things changed. On 2^nd Dec, we met Guruji at the airport around 8 pm. And he met really nicely. He came to each one us and blessed. And I walked right behind him for quite a distance. Then I saw few people hugging him and talking to him and him stopping to meet some. I again had those questions (kya guru factor hai inka yaar! Kya grace hai! When will I get to be so lucky?) but this time I realized my Guru connection was strong. I did not feel jealous or sad. I can’t explain it but I was happy and content with my own guru experience that day. I had the trust he loves me and is there for me.

While coming back, 5 of us made the plan of going early morning the next day (3^rd December) to meet him. It was a Monday and we thought Guruji would be doing Rudra Puja at 7 am (he does it every Monday morning) so lets try our luck to be able to be allowed in for it. One of us Manish had been in Guruji’s security team earlier and suggested we should go late because Guruji will come out around 8 am only. No one is allowed in Rudra Puja except the family members where he stays and the security team. Still, we wanted to take that risk. You never know what may happen when ;) I believe in one thing – “conviction” and when it comes to your guru – only your own conviction works. Guru is your very own. It is said the devotees are more powerful than the God J On 2^nd December we came back around 11 pm from Airport ( err…we stopped to have dinner actually!). Plan was to leave at 6 am next day. I was dead tired and with Delhi winters, laziness dawns in. So at 4 am my mind came up with many excuses of not to go..of giving bahanas to others…but don’t know what in me brushed them aside. I generally don’t get up before 7 am but that day got up at 5 am and was ready by 6 am! As usual, we left half and hour late…around 6.30 am. I sat at the back in the car and whole way only listened to chants. Don’t know why but reason for doing this was Guruji’s words going on in my mind “One should spend some time in silence in the morning”. So we reached at 7 am. Oh! One thing more- it was the birthday of one my student- Sid and he desperately wanted to celebrate it with Guruji so much so that he had bought  a cake on 2^nd night which we carried on 3^rd morning.

We got down from the car and I was planning how to barge in. The place he was staying had good security. I was super excited and had full conviction of meeting him. Imagine I was telling Sid to cry in front of the security and play the birthday emotional cards incase they don’t let us in and on the other hand suggesting Manish to do some setting with security guys. Talking all this we reached at the entry gate and found it open and suddenly I heard Manish saying Good morning to someone coming from inside. I thought must be some pal from the security team. I went little more ahead and saw him greeting Guruji!!! My god! I was zapped and screamed “Guruji”! (I had never done it that way!) He was coming right in front of me in Pajamas! Like he was going for a morning walk! There were only 5 of us. No security guy, no pushing, no shooing away. THAT moment was hard to believe. A state of sweet shock! J He came out and said,” Ha mein aata nahi hu itni jaldi, tumhare liye aaya hu” The timing was estupendo! As if he was reading our minds and got the signal that we were at his doorstep. I couldn’t believe he was standing right next to me or I mean I standing right besides him :D I was on a high! For those few minutes, my mind literally stopped working and only heart was J. I don’t even remember clearly what all I did or said. He so near and just for us..wow!! I opened the cakebox and gave him the knife. It seems such a simple act but doing it in front of him was a wow thing! He has always been close to the heart but today he was sooo close in person..that too so casually! I sang the birthday song,” Sagar mein ek lehar” in front of HIM! I don’t know what had happened to me that time! I find it so silly to recall it. No one else sang and I was happily singing it. Hahahhaa OMG! At last while he was going inside, something in me just abruptly asked him a question which had been bothering me for a while now. I NEVER ever have been able to speak anything but don’t know how it happened. Normally Guruji says “Choice is your, blessings are mine” and so I had not asked earlier may be for this (I didn’t know my own choice actually!) but he gave me a clear answer! I was on a double high!!

And once he went inside, hell broke loose! We all cried profusely! Security guards were perplexed seeing our plight. Abhi toh celebrate kar rahe the ab ro kyun rahe hai!! I couldn’t control myself. Tears were rolling down in utter gratefulness. I realized how it feels when the longing is satiated. He answered my question clearly and made my life easy. Those few moments in such proximity can ONLY be felt. Words can’t express the feeling. Now, I’ve realized my conviction works and so now I have a higher wish list – some time with the divine in Ganga Kutir :D And I know it will happen…in a while J

Thanks to the guy who clicked the pic. In a state of awe, I didn't bother about it. But looking at this pic, smile pops up :)

Keep Smiling :)

Swati